dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
