Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just gargled with NyQuil
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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