Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
