So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
