hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
