I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
