well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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