The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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