just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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