Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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