Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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