hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
