I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
