he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
