everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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