I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
