i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Randomize
