then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
