We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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