I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
As shirtless as possible
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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