Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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