Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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