I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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