My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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