dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize