my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
