The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
