I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
