Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
