I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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