is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I forget how to act sober
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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