everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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