I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
