im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
