There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
