Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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