Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
