we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
