i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
