this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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