my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
