i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
