after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
