So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
