Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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