I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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