She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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