false alarm. still invincible.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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