I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
