im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize