He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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