He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
