but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
