Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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