i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
