Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
