I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
